Chadron State Park

May 24, 2010

Chadron State Park

It is an absolutely beautiful morning here in Chadron. We pulled in here last night at around 6:00 p.m., took a short hike to reconnoiter (e.g., find the nearest bathroom, and how best to get there in the nighttime), and then lounged around and read. Turned in about 10:00.

(You may ask, why find the bathrooms if you have an RV? It has a bathroom, after all. Well, that’s one of the things Casey advised against. That, and using the furnace. He suggested if I thought I would need heat, to bring a space heater. On the way here we saw the burned out husk of a 5th wheel trailer at a nearby RV park. I wonder if they were using space heaters . . .)

Beautiful though it may be, this place is just crawling with ticks. I just plucked another one off my neck, and found three of them on me last night while I was trying to sleep. I guess every rose has its thorns, right?

Last night there was a thunderstorm that made me glad we were in an RV and not a tent. The lightening flashed, the thunder crashed with the sound thunder can only make out in the country and the rain just poured down. I extricated myself from the tangle of covers, dogs and husband and closed the roof vent and the windows, wriggled my way back under the covers and drifted back to sleep. Harry’s having a harder time of sleeping than I am, I think. After the first night, I learned I had to trap the comforter between my butt and the wall or I would have no covers. That means now Harry has no covers. (Wink)

To give Harry a little time to actually sleep, I headed out this morning to take a shower. The shower facilities were clean and well-kept. It would have been nice if I’d thought to bring a hairbrush or a comb, though - but fingers make a good comb, in a pinch. The morning breeze, fragrant with the scent of clove currants (which are in full bloom and growing wild here), dried my hair and now it is braided tidily back into containment.



I imagine you’re probably wondering how Winnie is doing. Whatever it was that she went through Saturday (wow - it seems so long ago) has fundamentally changed her. Her face, the way she moves - they all reflect every one of her 18 years. Her eyes seem a little sunken and her face just plain looks old. She looks tired. No one could mistake her for a younger dog now. She had a seizure or another stroke yesterday morning. I was typing while sitting right next to her. She was sleeping with her eyes half-open (kind of freaky, but not unusual), and then her eyes opened all the way, as if in surprise. She half-sat up and then her neck twisted into an impossible right angle and her front leg stuck out, and there she was, frozen. Her whole frame shuddered. I tried to comfort her the best I could, and eventually it passed.

Harry and I had a talk yesterday about what I’m going to do when we get back home. He says I should just pack up the RV and take the dogs to New Mexico. I’m not so sure that’s a great idea. When I told him that, he got really frustrated with me and told me I need to stop letting the dogs dictate my life to me; stop letting them run the show. If we want to go somewhere I need to just kennel the dogs and I need to stop using them as an excuse for not doing the things I want to do in my life. (Honestly, I think Harry was referring to trips he's wanted me to take with him. I know there has been a time or two when I did use the dogs as an excuse not to go somewhere. I'll admit it).

Was I using Winnie as an excuse not to go on the Big Trip? I don’t think so, but it is so easy to fool one's self. You know I wrote about the possibility of Winnie dying on the trip. I thought I had made peace with my decision, but when I was carrying her into the house after her first stroke/seizure, I knew I didn’t want to deal with her death on my own. I was alone with the vet when Mikey the Dingo Dog died, and I was alone with my mother when she died. Both were very difficult times for me.

I do know that, in a way, I’m not unhappy with the way things have worked out. I had no idea that Star would dislike riding in the RV as much as she does. After all, she loves riding in the car - I figured riding in the RV would be a natural for her. Star doesn’t mind being in the RV when it is stationery, but just turning on the engine starts her trembling, and she stands and pants, mile after mile after mile. I don’t know about you, but the idea of Star standing, trembling and panting for 3,600 miles over a span of 10 days seems pretty awful to me. And Winnie dying far from home, without her Dad, seems pretty selfish to me, too.

I’ve also learned that the typical RV “way of life” is probably not for me - at least, not at RV parks. When I go camping, it’s to get away from people, not watch someone take their grandkids fishing. Or to ride my bike throughout the RV park. Nor to keep the furkids all on-leash all the time. (This all became crystal clear at Windmill SRA).

This experience in Chadron is the perfect tonic for me right now - I think there are only two other people in the whole park. If I were so inclined, I could just open the door of The Rig and let the dogs out without leashes. (Although, yesterday I did see a moron “walking” his dogs by driving through the park with his arm sticking out the window and the dogs running alongside on their leashes. I'm surprised neither of them were killed.)

So here I sit. It is beautiful, here. I’m listening to birds sing and dogs sleep. Harry’s just beginning to stir. At this time today, let’s see - I would be on my way to the Double Dice in Elko, Nevada. I would have met Tara and Lady last night, in Green River, Wyoming. I would have seen the Flaming Gorge. And today I would have had lunch with Tari on my way through Utah.

Somehow, the “at this time” game just doesn’t seem as much fun anymore. But you know why, right? It’s no longer important anymore. The future is ahead, and sad longings are in the past. I still have almost two weeks of vacation ahead of me. What shall I do with them?

What, indeed!